a fist wrapped in blood...

Inside each and everyone of us is a fist... a fist wrapped in blood. All of us have one, but why do they work so differently? I am speaking in pure symbolism of course. Naturally all of our hearts perform the same tasks, some better than others, but alas still the same. Symbolically however, my heart may love greater or lesser than the man next to me. Why is that? Why does my heart ache to see something like an animal in pain, but this man next to me pays it no mind?

I believe... that we are all capable of feeling the same emotions, but my question is, is why are these emotions evoked by different things? Some people become extremely happy at the sight of a sunset, where another person would break down into tears.

Now let us talk of love... Love is blind, or so the story goes. Would love be so blind if the fist weren't clinched so tightly? I have never been in love, but there are people my age and younger that have made a commitment to marriage. Clearly there is some form of love there even if I cannot see it. Don't misunderstand me, I do fully believe in love, but since I have never experienced the feeling before it is hard for me to grasp it. As much as I don't understand love, there are people in this world who have accidentally made themselves experts.

Their love turned to lust... because they didn't see love the way the married ones did. They saw lots of things to love, and when someone shiny and new came along, they were out of love with the old and in with the new. Lust is an emotion that I will never understand. To have an intense and almost obsessive desire for something, more often than not in a sexual way, is, to me, insanity. Some don't see it the way I do of course.

I suppose... that if every one persons "fist wrapped in blood" worked the same way that there would be mass mayhem. Where would we be on an individual basis? If we all cried at a sunset and no one became overly joyous, how would that sunset feel? If I were a beautiful sunset making people cry, I might not think I were beautiful anymore.

How complicated... we people are.

but the infant...

In wartime... the world stops for nothing. Not for love or peacefulness. What could stop all the violence in the world? Could it be something as simple as, a baby? Could the sight of an infant cease the fire from the "heroic" soldiers weapon?

If there is no love... in wartime then clearly there are no babies, and those who already have them keep them away from the violence. What would happen though, if one were seen? Would men finally see that too much killing has gone on? would they realize that the future is no longer in the hands of a gun or bomb, but in the hands of this infant, this baby who at this point in his life cannot utter a word? One would hope that there is enough humanity in the world for men to realize this, and to realize that the war they're fighting should never have been started.

What kind of people... would we be if we let this happen around the baby? I couldn't imagine, and I'd rather not picture it. It is hard to believe that all the world ever needed to stop their wars was a baby. A baby which here symbolizes a reason. There is never a good reason to put the world on hold in my opinion, but if the only reason we need is an infant to end all of it, that is reason enough for me to have a little more faith in the world...

Oh how quick it happens...

Life as we all know it can change so quickly... that you don’t even have time to think about it changing before it changes again. I thought that I had a lock on things right up until I met someone new. He was a perfect stranger to me. I talked to him anyway. His name is a secret and will remain that way. He is an interesting person thus far in our friendship. He’s very open and up front about everything. I fell that he would and could do just about anything for me. Why is all of this so interesting? The man we speak of is HIV+. Clearly there is nothing wrong with this. So he had some unsafe sex when he was younger. It really could happen to just about anyone, but it happened to him. He is a beautiful man. His life, as far as love goes, has been slightly hindered by choices he made long ago.

How would it be... to have a wonderful life, loving it, living it, and be told that your choices while you were “living” are the reason you are now dying? I don’t know this for a fact, but I could believe that before this news my new friend might have been shy, and not as open. I consider myself to be shy and open, but if I am told I am dying I might try to get to know everything about the world before I have to leave it all behind.

I am convinced... that this man is someone that I could fall in love with, or just be great friends with. At any rate, he got me wondering about life and just how quickly something can come along and change itself on you…